party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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