he wants to bone in the snuggie
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
