"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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