just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize