You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
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