How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
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he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
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Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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