what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
