what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
