What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
