Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
