honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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