just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
