i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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