Got a toothbrush?
Say something about gay babies.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
