hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So much rum. So many feels.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
