it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
