maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
