It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize