Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
