Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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