I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
