I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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