In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
