I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
