dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
