hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
