so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
