Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
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I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Pooping to opera.
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