I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize