You just made me feel so damn special
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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