grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
