I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
