how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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