I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Someone signed my nipple.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize