You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
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No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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