Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
