toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
