the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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