youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
