i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
