i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am naked and annoyed.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
