It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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