My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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