I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
one might say we're banned from that church
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
