It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
