Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
