i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
