Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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