Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
