Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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