doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
