don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
