yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
