So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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