Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
