Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize