You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
