Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize