I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am mentally ready for anal.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
