He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
