you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
