we have officially lost it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
