BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
