She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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