How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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