dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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