It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
