you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
