Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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