At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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