Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
