If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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