im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
